I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
