The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
