Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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