I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
