i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the day after is always just damage control
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
