then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
