my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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