You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
