there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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