Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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