it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I AM VODKA MAN
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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