That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
