What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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