Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
