Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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