I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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