I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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