How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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