sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
