Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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