sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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