im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
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I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I did not marry a roomba.
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