i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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