My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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