So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
