So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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