White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
