Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
