New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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