so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
