I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
