He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
