escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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