Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize