the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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