Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
now i know why i became what i already was.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
