just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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