It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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