But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
