Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
