Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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