You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize