I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
