??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
