Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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