somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
