this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
