Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
