If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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