I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
