Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
