hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
