The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
