then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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