You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have aggressive nipples.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize