i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
